My Dog is Trying to Kill Me!

She's cuter than cute, and it's a good thing, too. Somehow I've survived my son's childhood until now (long story, but he's the first who tried to kill me since the day he was born), but now the dog is trying her darndest to give me a coronary.

A few months ago I was working happily on my computer at work, puppies at my feet (they're 9 months apart). Suddenly, the older pup, Elizabeth, yelps, looks all bug-eyed, and gets drooly. Sure enough, she was chomping on my computer cord (fresh, wet chew marks) and gave herself a zap. I was freaking out, knowing the horror stories of death after such incidents. Fortunately she was fine. Turns out she chewed on the lower voltage part of the cord (between the adapter and the laptop, rather than between the adapter and the wall).

Fast forward to a week ago. I'm rushing around, doing last minute shopping, all three dogs along for the ride (they're always with me). I pull into a gift shop parking lot, right off a main road. Before I can close my door, goofy Elizabeth darts out of the car, makes a beeline behind the police station next door, and keeps running away from me. All I can envision is her running into the road and becoming a street pizza. Fortunately for me, she heard the panic in my voice and froze. My heart was in my throat, that's for sure.

So tonight, I'm working late (end of year stuff, checks to write, bills to pay, that sort of thing). So I decide to feed the dogs, knowing we'll be home after suppertime. Since I don't have any food with me really, I open a few free samples hanging around. One baggie for Elizabeth, one for James, and two for Trixie, because she's bigger. Next thing I know, Elizabeth is lying on her side, trying to get up. At first I think she fell over and is too plump to right herself on the slippery floor. Then I wonder if she's having a seizure. So I grab her to take her into the other room where there was more light, and clack! Out pops a huge chunk of dog food onto the floor. No seizure, she was choking on her kibble!!

First the kid, now the dog. I think they have it in for me. Hmm. Sounds like fodder for a novel...