Here are a few snippets of what I've posted over on Dr. Phil's message Boards about unschooling. What it is, what it isn't, and snippets of how we live.
My children have always been unschooled and are thriving. Not only do they have a broad base of knowledge about the world around them in all 'subjects' (we don't teach to subjects, nor do we teach) but they are articulate, compassionate, social, and get along well with their peers (public schooled and homeschooled). They are involved in outside activities (skateboarding, horseback riding) and loved by their instructors and camp counselors.
Unschooling = educational neglect? You might think that based on the fact that kids learn what they want when they want, but when a child is allowed to follow their passions, the rest falls into place. At its core is TRUST. They may not follow the timetable of the public school system, but their 'study' of certain things isn't limited to a week, or a chapter, or until the test. They can explore a topic as deeply as they choose. A love of horses leads to all sorts of interesting things: history, geography, math, animal husbandry, sports, anatomy, etc. Skateboarding has led my son into physics, geometry, geography, math, and sports.
Our topics of conversation during a normal day of living covers anything from politics and government (thanks to the recent elections) to astronomy to botany, trading, as well as hefty doses of math, reading, and writing. not by worksheets or homework, but by doing the things they love.
Until you've immersed yourself into the world of unschooling you have no idea what it's really about. If you want statistics that prove we're not a bunch of whackos raising delinquents or gas station attendants, then go to www.sudval.org. A school where kids not only make and enforce the rules of the school, including hiring and firing of staff, but their whole educational philosophy is unschooling. The kids do what they want, all day, every day. YET, they have a 30 year track record of success.
Unschooling isn't for everyone. But it's not a decision made lightly for those of us who choose it for our families. I see myself more of my children's facilitator than educator. My job is to provide experiences and to strew their path with cool stuff. It's my job to answer their questions and help them find the answers. I personally am a lifelong learner and learn every single day right along with my kids. And it's amazing what I learn from them!
I'm happy to be raising responsible people whose love of learning, creativity, and independent thinking hasn't been squashed out of them. They are confident in who they are, are comfortable making decisions, and don't bow down to peer pressure. I love who my kids are as people, who they are right now. And I have confidence that they will succeed in life and achieve any goals they set for themselves now and in the future. They are self-starters.
Q: Don't get me wrong, I home school...but, if you don't teach them.........how do they or how are they learn (ing) read, write, spell, and do basic math? I just feel these are VERY important to make sure a child knows before going off into the world (aside from other subjects). How do kids learn to walk? Talk? They do it by trying. No matter how many 'walking lessons' you set up, basically your child will walk only when ready. Same with talking. They learn by doing, and because they WANT TO. Kids want to explore the world around them. They are programmed that way!! Try stopping a toddler from learning. You can't!
And if you don't stick life in a box or relegate it to black and white words on a page, where you're hemmed in by four walls and a teacher, the whole world is at your fingertips just waiting to be explored. There are no bells to interrupt a subject you're fascinated by. There is no forcing what their minds aren't quite ready to absorb.
Buzz and Lotus are 8 & 12, respectively. They read, write, and do math. Just not with textbooks and worksheets. Math is all around us. You can't get away from it. They play with numbers all the time.
Contrast that to their public schooled friends who will avoid anything that has to do with numbers [Buzz was playing with a car advertisement and reading the prices (learning place value from 10s to 10s of thousands) and a school friend piped up and told him to stop 'doing math' because it was Saturday and you don't do math if you don't have to]. He was just having fun. I knew he was learning. Learning happens. You can't stop a kid from reading when they're ready.
How do they learn to spell? E-mailing friends and family. Making lists. Asking questions. By reading. Because they have a real-life reason to.
How do they learn to read? Again, the written word is all around us. Internet, computer games, instruction manuals, e-mails, etc.
Q:
I do not know enough about unschooling to support or dispute it, but I am wondering something. Other than your own observations, how do you KNOW your children are doing well and are going to be ready for the adult world and gainful employment? I am not suggesting that they won't, I'm simply wondering if there is any other form of assessment other than anecdotal. How do I know, without testing and grades and such, you mean? Without external evaluation?
Let me ask this before I answer: How do you know YOUR kids are doing well and are going to be ready for the adult world and gainful employment? Do you rely on their grades? Assessments by teachers? What?
I see my kids in action every day. Lotus, at age 10, held a job at the barn mucking stalls and feeding horses in exchange for extra riding time. She comes to work with me and is helpful to my clients when they walk through the door. She can use a computer better than I can, including programming with html. She currently runs an online store, though it deals with points instead of cash. I see what she's learning and what she already knows in the questions she asks me. Because I talk with my kids about everything and anything.
Buzz, at 8 is the master of tenacity. He'll do whatever he sets his mind to do in life. No doubt about that. Because he already does.
Riding instructors, skateboard camp counselors, grandparents with education backgrounds, other parents have all commented on the maturity and poise of my children, along with being awed by their knowledge base. They may not have the exact base their public schooled peers have but they have breadth and depth in the knowledge they do have.
No doubt in my mind whatsoever. Plus, I have the benefit of knowing other lifelong unschoolers and seeing them get into college or succeed in business that i harbor no doubts about my own kids.
I think unschooling makes a lot of people very uncomfortable, as it goes against what conventional wisdom tells us. That kids can grow up and become productive members of society WITHOUT school. Without honors. Without transcripts. It means that what you've been taught and believe isn't 100% correct.
Unschooling challenges people's beliefs. I doubt no matter what I or any other unschoolers say on this board will change anyone's mind here. But I'm sure we'll make you think. :)
Q:Is there anything besides your own observations used to assess if your children are adequately learning? And second, what is it that you want your child to know and be able to do once he/she is no longer under your care. Is there a goal? Do you foresee how he/she will be able to support him/herself financially or how he/she will manage in a world where there very well may be deadlines and unpleasant expectations?No, my kids have never been formally assessed. What would it tell me? That they are at grade level? They're not in school, so that info is not important to me. That they're above grade level? Again, grade level is not important to me. That they're way behind? Behind what? They can't be behind themselves. Oh, you mean grade level? Um, is every kid in school 'at grade level'? No. Is every kid a straight A student? Again, no. I care more about who my kids are as people than any test score can tell me.
My children are bright, inquisitive, and there is no doubt in my mind that they can achieve anything in life they set their minds to. Yes, that means college if they choose it. But my idea of success in life and yours may not jive.
What do I want them to know? How to find the information they need on whatever topic they choose to learn about. Do I have a goal? No. My kids set their own goals. They are 8 & 12. No need to decide the future today. Do I expect them to be gainfully employed and to be able to live on their own? Sure. Why wouldn't they?
Deadlines and unpleasant expectations are a part of living, and my kids do live in the real world. As I've previously stated, my daughter had a job at age 10. She managed to get to the barn on time without my prompting.
Success to me does not come from high achievement on standardized tests, awards, college degrees, or a boatload of money. Success and happiness comes from within. And we have several family members who have become very successful without college degrees, and another who is a skilled computer programmer (and well paid for it) who is self-taught.
Seeing is believing and the proof is in the pudding. If you spent a few hours chatting with my kids you'd never know they have never attended school unless you asked them.
Thing is, always-unschooled children are already enrolled in colleges around the country and are doing well. Some are enrolled in advanced degree programs. One of the unschooler moms on a list I'm on just announced her son's SAT score of 1410, and he'd never been to school. Unschoolers are succeeding in life.
Unschooling not just a flimsy idea that parents of young children are trying as an unproven experiment and we're all doomed to failure and dumping our ignorant children on the overburdened school system when we realize that education is better left to the 'professionals'.
Unschooling works. Unfortunately, there is no way to define it, or quantify it, and explanations don't quite cut it. And when you look at it from a schoolish frame of mind, it seems silly, insane even. But basically our children and families live as if school didn't exist. And when you step outside of the box, there's a whole wide world waiting to be explored.
(I know you just showed us what you found, so this isn't directed at you, it's just a comment in general)
"Unschooling begins with a child's natural curiosity and expands from there, as an extension of his/her own personal interests and needs."
Q: I was encouraged to learn on my own, explore on my own, ask questions and embrace my natural human curiosity. I think this is simply what good parents do. I do this. My daughter is only 2 and a half but I certainly teach her everyday. But there are somethings that every child simply needs in order to live in our society. They aren't naturally going to learn everything. Some things must be taught with real effort regardless if the child wants to learn it or not.I didn't say this was unique to unschooling parents, not at all. Many parents see the world as a fascinating place and explore it with their children. When you spend time doing fun things with your 2-yr-old, you can see how she's learning, even if you're not giving a 'lesson.'
What's different is that we also saw these things when our kids were toddlers, with their natural, insatiable curiosity. We also saw that 'school' would get in the way of that exploration. Natural learning doesn't stop when a child is five.
Many people seem to be most concerned with reading. The written word is all around us. On TV, newspapers, magazines, computers, games, toys, etc. It's natural that kids will want to learn to decipher the words and learn to read. An involved parent will naturally read to their children, answer their questions regarding 'how to spell, what does that say, what letter does house start with' etc. And as they get older and start to make friends, and want to e-mail, they have a built-in motivator for learning to spell and write. Just last night my 12-yr-old and I had a nice discussion of there/their/they're and your/you're. Kids want to learn to read and write and participate in their world.
People are also concerned with math. Numbers are all around us. We use algebra every day. What is it, exactly? Equations with x and y? Only in notation. What we use it for is to figure out what we want to know from what we do know. Same with division. Naturally occuring examples. My daughter asked me why someone would write 1000K instead of 1 Million. Out of the blue. But apparently she was relating to something she'd read, seen, or heard.
Kids in school aren't going to learn everything, either. But kids who haven't had their love of learning squelched (like I did) will be able to learn anything at anytime. A recent unschooler we know wanted to attend a particular college but found she needed a math credit. She spent time with a friend who is a math genius, and in 3 weeks she met the prerequisite. 3 weeks as opposed to a semester or two.
Unschoolers tap into the internal motivation inherent in children. Our goal is a lifelong love of learning. And if you apply yourself, they can accomplish anything.
Q: Do you ever think, well, let's make sure we do something to expose the child to astronomy...how could we do that? Or world religions? Or ancient culture? Are there things that you have decided you know you want to at least spark an interest?Well, sure, it starts with what I am interested in, and what they're dad is interested in. With me they get loads of animal husbandry, anatomy, biology, science, chemistry, gardening, reading, writing, spelling, history. With dad they get music, computers and coding, building, geometry, physics, math, astronomy, etc.
We've purchased books on different cultures, books on art and famous artists, books on Egypt, etc. My kids know more about the pyramids than I do. My daughter has an inherent love of all things aquatic. My son has a love of all things wheeled and was asking about torque when he was 5.
They are also exposed to the daily realities of running a family business. If you add in friends and relatives with all of they're varied interests, that's a lot of exposure right there before factoring in TV, internet, and other print media.
I'm sure your toddlers ask you tons of questions. Most you can answer at their current level, but some that make you go, hmm, I'm not sure. Maybe you'll look it up right then. Maybe you'll look it up later. Maybe if it's something you can try, you try it. Basically, we started there and branched out as the kids got older.
Q: I have a question...what if you notice one of your kids DOES begin to watch TV all day everyday for weeks on end? It would depend on the kid and the reason.
Sure, if TV was the most exciting thing happening around our house for weeks on end, then yes, that would be an issue. But sometimes life throws serious curveballs -- death of a grandparent, life threatening illness in a sibling are two biggies we've had in previous years. Someone mentioned a broken crush. Sometimes it's just the weeks before a huge developmental leap. But if all is well with the child, we're offering plenty of alternatives, well yes, I do trust that for whatever reason my kid needs to veg in front of the TV for whatever time period he or she needs, it's a valid reason.
I don't watch much TV, either, but sometimes in the winter months I get Seasonal Affective Disorder and am more likely to want to curl up under a blanket and veg. Nothing wrong with it.
Example: One kid was in and out of the hospital at a young age. All he wanted to do was watch Toy Story followed by Toy Story 2, over and over, day after day, for weeks on end. Thank Goodness I liked the movies! I'd have been tearing my hair out if he preferred Barney's Sing-Along! But the point is, that he found the movies comforting and familiar, and yes, I allowed him to watch them. And if the tapes wore out I would have bought him new ones. I trusted him to know what he needed (familiarity) and freely allowed him to watch.
Q: This is like saying it's ok to eat a bucket of icecream because of the calcium it has in it. Well yes, it is. :) And the problem with this is....? Oh, and it tastes good, too.
Why does anything educational have to be boring, work, or drudgery? I find cartoons insanely educational as only cartoons can be. Should I be banishing them in favor of dry documentaries? In my life and my children's lives, everything is educational. Even eating that bucket of ice cream, with its resulting brain freeze headache and stomach ache.
Bottom line for unschooling is: TRUST in my kids, and the FREEDOM to choose.
