eHarmony -- an exercise in futility

I've had a few dates since my divorce, met some nice men, but none I wanted a relationship further than friends (mutual, mostly). Since I don't get out much (the old kids and job, ya know) I thought I'd try my hand at online dating.

Discovered right off the bat that 99.99% of men my age on match.com are players. Uh, no thanks. Fared no better on yahoo personals. Players or men who are just plain duds.

So I thought I'd try my hand at eHarmony. After all, the glitzy ads promise love with your soulmate. I signed up, filled out my profile, and waited for the matches to pour in. And they did.

But, unfortunately, I've discovered the same thing. I've had well over 250 matches. I've tried to correspond with more than half of them (the other half having things in their profiles that I knew we wouldn't match -- politics or religion, mostly). None ever start to communicate with me, and only 5 out of at least 125 have ever responded to me. Of the 5, two have gotten to open communication, only to never be heard from again.

Okay, so I'm not as cute as the dog in the pic. I have kids. Cool kids. And I've confirmed what I've known all along. Men are shallow morons. There. I've said it. And I'm about to try an experiment. I'm going to put a pic of a gorgeous babe in the place of mine. Want to bet those eHarmony guys will be falling all over me? Why not? I've got 11 months left on my subscription. Could be worth a few laughs and be fodder for another novel. Who knows?