Red Hot Chili Peppers and Trust

My kids learn how to make responsible choices by being allowed to make their own choices while they're young, and they get to experience the consequences of those choices when the stakes are much lower.

Does this mean I don't provide any guidance to my kids? No. I give them the information they need to make their own choice.

Silly example: My son recently wanted a red hot chili pepper from the grocery store, saying he wanted to eat it. His dad loves hot chilis, makes his own hot salsa, so it's not unreasonable to expect my son to have similar taste buds (he already has a much more discerning palate than I do and it wouldn't surprise me some day if he ended up becoming a chef). Anyway, I tried to steer him to the red bell pepper which I knew he'd like, but he declined, stating he wanted the hot one. I told him (jokingly, not in a condesending tone), 'you're gonna burn your lips off!' and he laughed.

Got home, washed the pepper, and he took a huge bite (after I told him he might want to take a tiny bite first). Nope. Bit a huge chunk. A minute goes by, and he says, Mom, you were wrong, it's sweet, and goes to take another huge bite. I told him he should wait a minute before doing that. No sooner did he take another bite than the pepper bite took effect. We were both laughing as I poured the milk and handed him some bread to help take the sting out.

I could have not bought the pepper (it was 8 cents). I could have just said no. I could have told him it was too hot and not let him take a huge bite. I'm a grown up, right? I know these things. Why wouldn't I want to stop him? He's 8. He's not stupid. And worst case scenario? He has hot lips for a few minutes.

And he also knows his mom tells him the truth, doesn't ridicule him when she's proven right, and helps out with the consequences (milk, bread, and a hug).